Perhaps it’s an unpopular opinion, but this Christmas we’ve decided to give Santa the boot… do you too struggle with a complicated relationship with Santa too? Have you been feeling the guilt of letting go of a loved tradition and losing the magic of the season? In this episode I’m sharing why we are giving him the boot and how we are doing it... with grace!
DISCLAIMER: Now, this episode isn’t meant to persuade you into giving Santa the boot yourself or shame you for choosing to continue Santa and your own traditions. In reality, I struggled to find a solution that worked for us with a Google search or the stories of others. And, I just wanted to provide some insight on how we are personally tackling this challenge in our family.
Ways to Listen
Watch the Episode
The Why: It's only going to get more complicated.
We talk a lot in America, or at least the south, about how Jesus is the reason for the season, but from my perspective I feel like the gospel- the good news that a child is born- a King to rescue us has been watered down. It’s been overshadowed with magic, icicles, colorful lights, and a jolly man in a red cap and rosy red cheeks, who is flying through the air led by his eight tiny reindeer with toys for all the good little boys and girls in the world.
Just like Charlie in Tim Allen’s “The Santa Claus”, I grew up hearing the hooves and sleigh bells on my roof, and I left carrots, notes and cookies for them all. I was always the first in my family, even as an adult to turn from trick-or-treat to twinkling lights, sometimes in the same night. I dressed my goats in Christmas sweaters and held Christmas baking festivities at our farm with every inch of our home adorned with decor. So, it’s with a heavy heart that I say- "This year we are giving Santa the boot."
Santa was such a huge part of both mine and my husband’s childhood that it’s hard to not feel guilty about leaving behind this beloved experience and tradition. I thought this was just the way it was- that every family experienced Santa. And let’s face it, the magic of the season is just as fun as an adult as you you watch your children light up and believe! Am I wrong?
But something felt that way- wrong. And I’m not merely talking about the debate of whether or not we are lying to our kids and how devastated they will be once they realize we’ve hidden this from them and then they question their salvation and belief in Jesus. Bear with me here. I’m talking about something deeper- in my heart.
Our kids are 1, 3, 6, and 20. By the time I adopted my oldest son, he was 14 our first Christmas. I didn’t have to decide then. He already knew the truth about Santa. But our 6 year old is the only one who has truly experienced the magic of Santa in a way that makes it hard to make this transition- because he remembers, he has seen the movies making Santa the most anticipated part of the season and with good reason, the stores and gifting and movies all play a part in keeping this tradition strong. He can’t unsee the experiences he’s imagined, dreamed, and lived. It’s too much all at once and I knew he would have to digest it over time, but I dreaded the thought of having to go through the heartbreak and disappointment that "Santa isn't real?" 4 times (at least).
The How: The Talk
So, we made a prayerful decision to gently let go of Santa. We first started with Jesus. We began sharing more about Jesus earlier this year. We read Bible stories- not merely making church the only time Jesus is woven into his life but making Jesus the center of our daily life, in conversations, prayer, and Bible readings. We removed the secular junk from his tv. Instead of him watching Puppy Dog Pals on repeat for the 15th time, he’s watching “Jesus shows” on RightNow Media. And so, he’s absorbing it. We made Jesus BIGGER. We talk openly about make believe and magic and make sure he understands that it’s not real- because our children’s entertainment is filled with it. Imaginative play is one thing but magic isn't the same. and I want him to know the difference between the two.
I sat him down a few weeks ago and asked him what he looked forward to most at Christmas. He said, “Well presents of course…”and there you have it. I know every kid wants gifts and the receiving of gifts is something I too couldn’t wait for at every holiday gathering, but gift giving is something I’ve struggled with for years. I don’t remember much from my childhood Christmases outside the gift exchanges besides shared meals, decorating the tree, and watching movies, which was special and I am grateful for them. But I don’t remember Jesus being the center of any of it and I am on a mission to change that for my kids. Maybe your experience was different, but it sure feels like Santa and presents completely hijacked the entire reason for the season.
We say Christmas is about Jesus- but as I look around, even in my own house, and I am burdened by the comparison of the abundance of Christmas cheer and the lack of signs that Jesus' coming is near.
My son's remark that his favorite Christmas pastime is getting presents totally makes sense- he's 6. But what I truly want our children to anticipate the most is Jesus- not Santa, not the elf on the shelf, not gifts. For years, I've felt burdened by the overwhelming focus on gift giving. Each year, the piles of presents seemed to grow bigger, and while I loved the idea of giving, the materialism didn’t sit well with me. I wanted more meaning, more connection, and less stress of impressing my children with bigger and greater gifts. So, here’s how we’re approaching this change—and why it’s brought us so much peace.
The How: Simplifying Giving
The "5-Gift Rule":
To simplify and create more intentionality, we’re flexibly following a Something to Share, Do, Wear, Need, Want approach. Some people do "something to read" as well and we will implement that as well as appropriate for each kid. Each category serves a purpose:
Share: We've been building a mud kitchen for our kids to use together. They have watched us build it in our garage and while they don't know what it is, that's part of what makes it so special, because they have seen Daddy putting his time into it and will have that core memory forever! I also LOVE the concept of shared gifts because it makes for less fighting and encourages quality playtime.
Here's our progress! We are doing some slight variations in the plans just to make it more simple. My husband completed this in a single morning.
We will be adding these bins for the wet portions and storage.
Do: Special one-on-one experiences- For Grayson, it’s a Lego store date, Chick-fil-A, and riding the escalator—a tradition he’s cherished for years! Daddy will take Addie somewhere special for some one-on-one time- maybe for a pedicure (Daddy secretly loves them). I also love the idea of doing things collectively leading up to Christmas- I'll share more about this in a moment.
Wear: I'm headed out this week to grab our coordinating Christmas PJs that they open on Christmas Eve, a tradition passed down from my dad. Grayson will also get socks, Abel a snow suit (we are praying for a snow day this winter), and Addie a new pair of shoes.
Need: Practical but thoughtful gifts, like homeschool tools and a real kitchen set for Grayson to cook alongside me with a cutting board and kid-safe knives will make him so excited. Addie and Abel will get age-appropriate block sets to help with their motor skills.
Want: Small, joyful surprises like no-mess markers, kinetic sand, and mud kitchen accessories like garden shovels and kitchen utensils will top off the festive gifts from Mommy and Daddy.
Read: We are giving Grayson a cookbook and baking book to go with his kitchen set and also utilizing it for math, science, reading, and life-skills for homeschool! And if you know this mama- that makes me super excited.
This approach keeps the focus on quality over quantity, teaches gratitude, and eliminates the overwhelm of too many gifts- nothing flashy or thrilling. Plus, it aligns with our family values of simplicity and togetherness.
At the core of it, I want my kids to experience the act of giving, not focus on receiving. That’s why I’ve fallen in love with the idea of simplifying Christmas gifts—something to wear, something to share, something to do, and so on.
So here I am, navigating how to re-center Christmas for my family without losing the joy, wonder, and togetherness that makes it so special. It’s not about getting rid of Christmas; it’s about transforming it into a season where joy flows from the heart of Christ. And friends, I know I’m not the only one feeling this tension, which is why I wanted to bring this to the podcast and blog.
New Christ-Centered Traditions We’re Adopting
Advent Blocks and Stories: This year, we’re adopting the Goodkind Advent blocks and stories into our family traditions- we tried this 2 years ago but none of the kids were old enough to understand. Every day in December, we’ll read together, reflecting on Jesus' story and what it means for our lives and turn a block with a picture that coordinates with each story and then at the end we will turn the blocks to reveal a special message on the blocks just in time for Christmas. It’s a beautiful way to build anticipation for Christmas while keeping Christ at the center.
This 25 day tradition will take the place of the "magical" Elf on the Shelf, which if I'm honest, we LOATHE. I actually told Grayson that he can now play the elf himself and it's more of a game for him- he loves hiding it each day for his sister to find. Plus he is enjoying the sneakiness- he loves setting booby traps and using his imagination to come up with stunts for the elf each day. And, it takes the pressure off of mom!
Giving Back: Another shift we’re making is inviting Grayson to participate in filling stockings—not as a gift from Santa, but as a way to practice generosity. We’ve explained the story of St. Nicholas and how his legacy reflects the heart of Christ’s love for others. I am planning to take Grayson on a special shopping trip to help choose stocking stuffers for everyone! I'll continue to do this with each kid as they get older and can participate with each kid getting a sibling's stocking to fill.
Reimagining Experiences
Experiences: I am big on quality time and so are all my kids. They enjoy presence over presents- even though they might not be able to vocalize that yet. They talk forever about the times we... This doesn't have to be complicated or expensive- here are some ideas of things you can do that are meaningful and encourage time spent instead of money. I've created a list of these goodies in our Joyful Life Community and they are free to download!
Something to Keep and Something to Eat: I am known as the baker (and the cook) in my family. For years I dreamt of having young kids to make cookies with, and I am so excited about this new family tradition that includes my nieces which are around the same ages as my kids. This year, we will bake cookies, decorate them, and craft air dry clay snowmen that will be cute little keepsakes for them that they can use as ornaments throughout the years. This activity will be a core memory that is simple yet rich with connection and joy, as they look forward to adding to their keepsake collection year after year.
Practical Tips for Transitioning Away from Santa
Gently Introducing the Change: Start by sharing the story of St. Nicholas and explaining how his actions pointed to Jesus. Emphasize that you’re not ‘taking away’ Santa but adding deeper meaning to your traditions. If your kids are older, involve them in the process and let them help decide how to shift the focus. Don't be afraid to make it your own.
Replace Magic with Meaning: Instead of Santa-centric traditions, fill the gap with Christ-centered activities. Advent devotionals, acts of service, and family traditions can create excitement while reinforcing the true joy of the season.
Set Boundaries with Grace: Not everyone will understand your decision, and that’s okay. Be prepared to explain your "why" lovingly and firmly. Remember Romans 12:18: "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Your family’s values don’t need to match others’ expectations.
Challenge: Reflect and Reimagine
Take some time this week to evaluate your own Christmas traditions. Are there any that feel overwhelming or disconnected from the true meaning of the season? Consider starting one new Christ-centered tradition or simplifying your gift-giving approach. Remember, the goal is to create a holiday filled with joy, peace, and purpose with your values in mind. Keep in mind it's not about adding more things to the calendar, but more meaning to the season.
I'd love to know your thoughts on your current traditions, what you want to change and how you land on those changes!
Friends, Christmas doesn’t need to be complicated to be meaningful. By letting go of traditions that no longer serve us and embracing ones that reflect Christ, we’ve found more joy than ever. Whether it’s baking cookies, reading Advent stories, or sharing quiet moments together, these simple changes have transformed our season.
Thank you for joining me today! I’d love to hear how you’re simplifying Christmas, so connect with me in our Joyful Life Insiders Community. Until next time, keep finding joy in every season—and especially this one.
Ready to dig deeper, find community or just get more joyful life exclusives?
What if I told you there’s a way to build community, with women who share your values, dreams, and desire for joy?
You will find real friendship and support, right from your phone! No complicated scheduling, no trying to find ‘the perfect moment' to fit someone into your calendar.
This community is for you If you're craving deeper friendships but don’t always have the flexibility to meet in person. For the moms juggling it all but still wanting that connection. For the woman who’s looking to be part of a supportive, uplifting space where we celebrate joy together— That’s exactly why I created the Joyful Life Insiders.
Here’s a quick rundown of what you can expect when you join the joyful life insiders
You'll get exclusive access to a brand new community designed to help you connect with women just like you and create the most joyful life, no matter what season you’re in. As a member, you’ll enjoy these incredible:
ALL ACCESS TO THE JOYFUL LIFE GOAL PLANNER
Ask your burning questions on everything from podcast topics and motherhood to meal planning, habit tracking, and goal setting! Plus we will reflect on your monthly and quarterly progress, celebrate wins, and stay on track with your goals through gratitude and habit building.
BONUS PODCAST MATERIALS
Ask your burning questions on everything from podcast topics and motherhood to meal planning, habit tracking, and goal setting! Plus we will reflect on your monthly and quarterly progress, celebrate wins, and stay on track with your goals through gratitude and habit building.
JOYFUL LIFE WEEKLY DEVOTIONALS
Dive deeper into each podcast episode with devotionals that challenge you and help you apply the lessons and insights to your own life.
COMMUNITY + CHATS
Connect with like-minded members about goal setting, meal planning, home organization, and personal challenges in a supportive and uplifting environment.
GROUP ACCOUNTABILITY & SUPPORT
Be a part of a community that’s cheering you on as you work towards your goals, with built-in accountability to help you stay on track.
EXCLUSIVE DISCOUNTED WORKSHOPS
Save on workshops and classes offered through “There Will Be Joy” to deepen your learning and growth!
Let’s Make Life Joyful, Together!
Head over to the Joyful Life Insiders Community on Patreon and grab 7 days for free.
Show Links
Join our free Joyful Life Community
Download The Joyful Life Goal Planner + Christmas Experience List
Join our the Joyful Life Insiders Community
Shop our Amazon Storefront
Grab our family Cookbook
Subscribe to our Blog
Subscribe to our Podcast
Thanks so much for stopping by! We so enjoy sharing our life alongside you. We are so grateful to each of you reading and being a part of our life and our story! We hope to be part of yours, too! And, we'd love to connect.
Sign up for our newsletter and all the things. Join our free Joyful Life Community!
With joy,
Lauren Alonso
topics and tags: hope and faith, how to get your hopes up, mindset reset, trusting God’s plan, Christian encouragement, joyful expectations, overcoming fear, Christian podcast, positive mindset tips, trusting God in hard times, finding joy in every season, hope in difficult seasons, renewing your mind, biblical encouragement, Christian goal setting, practical faith steps, joy-filled life, spiritual growth tips, Philippians 4:8 reflection, navigating challenges with faith